TULSA, Okla.- Here's a formula they don't teach you in chemistry class: a 95-year-old’s birthday + 95 candles on birthday cake = firefighters to the rescue.
That's what happened when a women's group at the First United Methodist Church decided to throw a birthday party for 95-year-old Mabel McCullough. Of course, there were 95 candles on her cake.
“There wasn’t an inch to spare. By the time we had them all lit, it looked like a torch.” explained guest, Eddi Carlin. With some help from her friends, McCullough blew them all out.
The result: a big cloud of smoke set off a smoke alarm that quickly brought five fire engines, two ladder trucks and 25 firemen to the church.
Fire Chief Lonnie Lamb exclaimed, “In my 23 years on the job, I’ve seen a lot of things set off a fire alarm, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of one going off because of a birthday cake.” The firefighters did not stick around to have some cake, but they did have their pictures taken with the 95-year-old celebrant.
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I like the concept, but the execution needs work. Based on your lead, here's how I'd structure this story:
ReplyDeleteHere's a formula they don't teach you in chemistry class: a 95-year-old’s birthday + 95 candles on birthday cake = firefighters to the rescue.
Then explain in P2.
That's what happened when a women's group at the First United Methodist Church decided to throw a birthday party for 95-year-old Mabel McCullough. Of course, there were 95 candles on her cake.
Then go to "There wasn't an inch to spare" quote.
With some help from her friends, McCullough blew them all out. The result: a big cloud of smoke ... that set off a smoke alarm ... and quickly brought five fire engines, two ladder trucks and 25 firemen to the church.
Then finish off as you did with the fire chief's quote, etc.
12/15