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About Me
- RiRaY
- San Jose / Pittsburg, California, United States
- Always having fun, though other people may not view my daily schedule as so. I go to school, work, do homework, work out, play basketball - repeat. Occasionally I go back home to hang out with my family and my old friends... or just do laundry and have my parents take me on a Safeway shopping spree! In my free time I play guitar and a few other instruments and play video games.
Be careful how you phrase things. This makes it sound like there was a wreck aboard the plane, instead of a plane crash.
ReplyDeleteKeep it simple. Start with the people killed and/or the crash, not where it happened. Keep your opinion ("horrendous") out of the story -- trust your readers to understand that 131 people dead is horrendous without you having to say so.
8/10